Dear Sir or Madam:
My name is - - - and I need your help.
I have not sneezed in months and I am terribly worried. Should I be?? I have bled. I have vomited. I even had several seizures but not once have I sneezed. I usually sneeze once a day right after breakfast. I look forward to it. It is something I can count on and I am good at. Therefore, can you prescribe me a medication which will cause me to sneeze? If not should I just go out and get the flu?
I spoke with this guy I know that knows someone that knows a doctor's secretary personally about this to get an opinion. Unfortunately the secretary is on vacation and the guy that knows the guy that knows the secretary is being evasive. So now I am writing you. Won't you please help?
Thank you for reading and responding to my letter.
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