Love is... CRISIS

I had a HUGE personal crisis. Literally, probably a grapefruit sized crisis. Yesterday, when Jude finally decided have a little shut eye, I got to work and started cleaning the house. I probably would have had every surface so shiny to the point that you could see your reflection in it... but then my personal crisis happened. I went to make the bed and I pulled back the covers on my side and there it was, summoned from the depths of my own personal hell, a GIANT GRAPEFRUIT sized spider carcass curled into a nasty little ball of death. I screamed, I cried, I hyperventilated, and I cried some more. Then I phoned Tyler and cried to him. This is a huge deal. I'm not being stupid or girly when I tell you that I am petrified of spiders. If I was on Fear Factor and I had to hold a spider for a million dollars, I would walk away so fast it would make your head spin. Also, I had to ask myself the burning question... did I sleep with this spider? Am I the cause of its death? Did my legs crush it during the night? Answer - probably. Sick. So now not only was I touched by a spider, but I unsuspectingly found it while cleaning (which gave me a fright) AND I have officially slept with another man besides Tyler.

So I am standing there, talking to Tyler about this awful experience and like a good husband he is trying to calm me down and BAM! My personal hell is NOT dead and the spider unfolds his nasty little legs and comes to life. So now that his legs are unfolded he is the size of approximately a grapefruit plus a small apple. I screamed and started crying again and ran into the bathroom. So now I am cornered. I can't leave the bathroom because then I would have to walk past the spider and I can't do that. I asked Tyler to come home and kill the spider. He said he would but I would have to sit there and make sure the stupid thing didn't get away and I wasn't going to sit there for that long. So I phoned my dad. He didn't think I was serious in the beginning, but this wasn't my first rodeo so it didn't take too long to convince him that I was 100% serious. So, like any loving father would do he got into his car and headed out. In order to distract myself I decided to take a shower. I left the curtain open and the door open so I could watch the creeper just in case he started to make a run for it... although, it's not like I would do anything about it. Just as I was getting out of the shower, Jude started to cry. Perfect, so now I had to make the decision... it was like Sophies choice almost. I phoned Tyler and explained my situation. He coached me for 5-10 minutes until he convinced me to run to Judes room and promised the spider wouldn't jump on me. I screamed and ran and made it. My dad got there and killed the stupid thing and checked all the baseboards and made sure no more spiders were lurking in my room. Then he told me that I should consider counseling.

I get that to most people, a spider is childs play. But to me... I can't do it. I don't do spiders. I literally get petrified. My knees don't bend. And one run in with a spider causes me weeks of fear and anxiety. Any shadow, any falling leaf, it's a spider and I am minutes away from some form of torturous death.

Moral of the story - this is why God gave me a son first. Because at the ripe age of three he is going to be killing every spider he sees so his mom can live a long and happy life.